Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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