Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
