i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Randomize
