I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
