apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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