; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
