I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
