That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
