Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i will never coherently bang her
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
