did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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