No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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