halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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