life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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