yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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