Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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