is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
