i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
