Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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