Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
