You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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