1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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