It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
