HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
