the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
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