Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
