It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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