take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
