He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
