He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
