One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize