oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
