these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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