I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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