my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
