i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
