Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
