I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize