He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
