i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
