drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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