Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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