There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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