I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
