Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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