I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
