I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
