did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
