Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
