and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
