So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
