I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
