If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
