lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
