My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
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dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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