plz talk dirty to me
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
