OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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