if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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