Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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