i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
