Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
