I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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