Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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