Nicole vs. Life
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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