He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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