I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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