i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
