the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No subtext here. People are naked.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
