Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
