would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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