1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
