Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
